The Goblin War of 1516 was a day that went down in Cragmore history as both victory and defeat. Aberdean Cragmore and Gernard, the goblin elder, were frenemies who liked to indulge in games of chance. One night, after too many pints of bog ale and an unfortunate losing streak, Gernard offered up a prized piece of land used by the goblins as an outpost, if Aberdean could beat the goblin at a game of cards.
“I’ve got you now, human,” said Gernard, confidantly. “This game has not been played for centuries and is only known to goblins.”
Aberdean was no fool and accepted the challenge. Little did the goblin know, he was familiar with the ancient card game and had played it many times in Grimhold Marketplace at Weapons & Charcuterie; where you could purchase the sharpest of knives
and eat your weight in meat. It was run by a group of goblins from the north. Aberdean was quite confidant he would win. Goblins are very territorial, so he was sure Gernard had no idea about the northern goblins.
They played the goblin card game, which was actually similar to poker. Gernard won two hands to Aberdean’s one. The goblin didn’t want to play anymore, but Aberdean convinced him to play one more hand.
“I let you win on the last hand, human,” said Gernard. “You can’t beat a goblin.”
“One more hand, my friend,” said Aberdean. “If you win again, I will go. If you lose, the land is mine.”
The goblin shook his head and deal the cards. “Goblins have always reigned over humans. You must like tormenting yourself with that knowledge.” To Gernard’s surprise, Aberdean won the hand. The goblin chocked it up to another bout of luck and refused to let Aberdean leave until he won the next hand, which he didn’t. Aberdean won the next ten hands with ease and Gernard grew more and more angry.
“You tricked me, human,” growled the goblin.
“I did not,” said Aberdean, standing up. “You assumed I did not know how to play.” He bowed dramatically and turned to leave. “I want your men gone by morning.”
“This is not over, human,” said Gernard. “You cannot claim a prize won with trickery. We will fight and wipe you out.”
“We will see, goblin,” said Aberdean.
And so began the Goblin War of 1516. Aberdean went on to victory with a bit of yellow skunkweed and help from the goblins of Grimhold. They had some old scores to settle and were more than happy to join in the fray.
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